coming out of retirement

my best friend told me that i worry too much about what other people say.

so did my parents.

and my therapist.

i have this almost dying wish of just wanting to be accepted and to fit in.

my confidence has been dwindling slowly but surely throughout the years.

the once cool and charismatic guy that i used to be no longer exists.

and on top of that society tells me i'm a failure if i don't these 2 things:

1) go on a mission

2) go to BYU

well i hate to break it to you people but i'm probably not going to do either of those things.

(sorry mom)

so many things are running through my head and i tried using a journal to write them all down.

but it's just not the same.

and i started to go a little crazy

so i tried making a new blog and that wasn't the same either. 

in fact i think you took it off the list nelson...i'll thank you later.

so i've come back to paris.

because lloyd fits in.

what lloyd says matters.

people care about lloyd's thoughts and opinions.

Jern said it perfectly,

i'm going through withdrawals.

-Lloyd.