again.

She left today.

But she said it wasn’t my fault.

The classic line that quickly slips from the lips of one,

And falls like dagger into the heart of another.

You could hear a pin drop in the driver’s seat,

As the sirens go off inside my mind.

It’s all too familiar.

Quick to trust.

Quick to love.

Only to have the bubble of my blonde haired future popped by the sharp reality that love only exists in the movies.

For what feels like the 100th time now I thought I found the one.

Vanilla lace fills my nose.

Her lips stole the breath from my chest.

And her smile was so bright that,

If we let it,

It could brighten the darkest of days in this world.

A 5’ 4” angel who hates olives and lasagna,

Came into my life and reminded me what it feels like to be happy.

And ask quickly as she came,

She left.

Haunted by the demons that pock mark her past,

It all was too much for her to handle.

And now i wait.

Praying she returns.

Hoping that one day we’ll be hand in hand again

While the cutest laugh I’ve heard echoes through my ears.

i thought it’d get easier

I thought it’d get easier.

Late nights in the water.

Laughs shared between us and the stars.

Like ice - slowly melting away

I fade from your mind.

I thought it’d get easier.

Nostalgic visions of our hands clasped on the beach flood my senses.

It’s euphoric.

I can feel my heart begin to beat faster and faster.

Sweaty palms. Cold fingers.

Your breath on my neck is almost as real now as it was then -

But it’s not.

I’ve become an all too frequent victim of a vivid imagination.

I thought it’d get easier.

Perhaps I’m just naive.

Or maybe you really are just that “busy” -

And the man in my mind that’s whisking you away in his arms is just that -

In my mind.

It doesn’t get easier.

Because each time I catch feelings,

I’m more prone to catch them again.

And again.

And again.

Like a wave - I’m pulled from the shore and washed out in the excitement.

Floating.

Swimming.

The ocean seems to go on forever.

Yet, the smiles vanish as reality quickly comes back into view -

our wave of romance spits me up and leaves me back on the shore where i started.

It will never get easier.

Yet nothing worth having will ever come easy.

My only fear is that I don’t know how many more waves i can ride,

Until my heart finally breaks for good.