i think i'm in love with love.
but i think i hate love too.
i guess i wouldn't know though because i don't think i've been in love before.
i thought i was once.
but they say if you have to think about it even a little bit then it's not love.
but since i let that one slip through my fingers i haven't found anything that compares.
some have been close.
but they also say close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades.
who said that anyways?
funny how i'm only 18 with my whole life ahead of me and my biggest fear is not finding love.
i feel like there's an emptiness inside me that can't be filled.
how cliche.
was that cliche?
what exactly is a cliche..?
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i look at the stars and dream of someone to hold.
she's resting her head on my chest and her hair tickles my nose.
it's okay though because in that moment all i can hear is her gentle breathing.
i gently press my lips to her hair and i know that no matter what everything will be ok.
because we have each other.
i look at the sunset and dream of someone to laugh with.
she's holding my hand and turns and smiles at me in a way that gives me butterflies every time.
i just stop to take in the moment and let the memory last forever in a mental snapshot.
i look in the mirror and dream of someone to love.
she'll wrap her hands around me from behind as i'm at the sink looking in the mirror.
the stress will dissipate because in that moment she holds me tight.
and her embrace is all i need to know that everything will be alright.
so am i depressed or am i in love?
these dreams i have are just that-dreams.
nothing more than a mental image of what i want.
but i'm held back by a wall of insecurities and a lack of confidence.
doubts. fears. anxieties.
you only get married once, right?
8 billion people in the world and i'm supposed to find one.
ya those odds are freaking awesome.
i stress because i've got one shot to get it right.
so what if i think i'm in love but i'm not?
what if i am in love but i don't know it?
or what if i've met the one and didn't do anything about it and now she's gone?
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love is breakfast in bed.
love is a four hour phone call.
love is an hour car ride to see them for 10 minutes.
love is nervous clammy hands.
love is butterflies in your stomach.
love is silent moments that aren't awkward.
love is silent moments that ARE awkward.
love is a gentle kiss on the forehead.
love is a walk in the rain.
love is staying in on the weekend to just talk.
love is something that i can't explain.
love is something i haven't found.
but i want it.
-Lloyd Dobler (aka) Chase Armstrong
but they also say close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades.
ReplyDeletewho said that anyways?
love this.
Good to hear from you,
ReplyDelete"but they say if you have to think about it even a little bit then it's not love.
funny how i'm only 18 with my whole life ahead of me and my biggest fear is not finding love.
love is breakfast in bed."
It's the simple things isn't it? Sometimes I think people over simplify love. Sometimes I think you do have to think about love and it's something that you have to try really hard to make it work sometimes, even as much as we want it to be easy and pretty and soft. If it was easy no one would break up, if it was easy everyone would fall in love with everyone and it wouldn't matter who you ended up with. its hard because its real.
It's good that you're still trying to figure this whole thing out. All the good ones are.
ReplyDeleteit's so good to hear your voice in my head again as i read this.
ReplyDeletelove is something that i can't explain.
love is something i haven't found.
but i want it.
we all do Chase.
we all do.
I'm glad you're still writing. This was really honest.
ReplyDeletelove is this post
ReplyDelete