masks

my bones say "speak up. express yourself. tell your thoughts. share your opinion."
but my skin says "don't. stop. no one wants to hear you. don't embarrass yourself."

Do you get it? no one can see your bones. No one can see your thoughts. only your skin.
only the mask you put on for people to see.
my mask hides what's really there.
and i wish this mask would just-just fall off.
but it's been stuck here since sophomore year.
occasionally though my face comes out of hiding & i speak up. i share my thoughts.
but then i see the others.
and their masks scare me.
so i quickly put mine back on.
so here i sit with a mask that says i'm fine.
that says no worries.
that says life. is. good.
but underneath the mask,
underneath the skin,
lies the bones of a man dying to get out.
dying to taste the world.
but for now he stays sealed up under these fake layers.
waiting.
wishing.
for the moment his skin melts away because he can't take the heat for another second.
the heat of being scared.
the heat of being a phony.
and then
FINALLY then.
the bones of this man will feel the air of the world.
and he will breathe.
and he will speak.
and once he's tasted this freedom
HE WILL NEVER GO BACK.

-lloyd.